Most of us over the age of 40 have been brought up in the traditional sense of a family. One mom (female), one dad (male), assorted siblings, pets, grandparents, etc. So, in today's world where we have one parent families, and same sex two parent families, and children who are products of divorce whose parents are re-married, sometimes more than once, why is it so difficult for some people to accept same sex marriage? Why does anyone think it is ok to delegate who loves whom.
We've all heard the argument that Same-Sex Marriage will destroy traditional different sex marriages. And, I don't buy that.... to me that is saying that to those already married are going to dissolve their marriages because they are secretly gay and suddenly want to marry someone of their own gender? If that's not what that statement is proposing, someone please enlighten me.... Otherwise, that statement makes no sense.
As you may have read yesterday, I've been through colon cancer, and through the process of surviving it, I lost one of my most precious "assets".... I have a colostomy. So, as a gay man, I am limited in what I can offer to a relationship. To be honest I've lost a lot of tears and sleep over this fact. For those of you out there (in the straight world) that can't quite get a grip on that... Imagine you or your spouses vagina getting sewn closed and never being able to enjoy that part of your body again. Sorry if that was blunt, and I know there was probably a giggle or two out there....you get the point.
Anyway, all through my ordeal, I've felt alone. My mom was sick in the hospital in Columbia when I was diagnosed, besides that, also going through her fight with dialysis. My dad lives 2 hours away in St. Louis, my brother is 13 hours away in Texas, all of my grandparents are gone, so that left my partner, Steve. He is truly angel sent from God. The night I went to the hospital, I was so scared, and he sat with me all through the night, in what was later known to me as one of the most uncomfortable chairs ever designed... After my first round of chemo, 5 weeks on a constant delivery pump, we began the daily routine of radiation. Since they were zapping me in my most precious "zones", I have also been rendered sterile. And, even though children were not in my immediate plans, at least it was an option. I know, I know.... some people would look at that as a blessing, but I look at it as just one more of life's choices that have been snatched away from me.
So, as any of you that have survived cancer, you know that I still had more chemo to do.... 5 months worth, only this time it was the kind where I had to go into an infusion center, and they shot a syringe full of something called 5FU into my powerport, every day for the first week of each month. I'd be sicker than a dog for the second week of each month. Everyone promised, "Oh, you are going to lose so much weight!", for me....the opposite effect. I had to eat to curtail the nausea, so I gained 50 pounds.
Through all of that, my Steve pushed me in a wheelchair to this test and that, and sat with me while I drank gallons of "crap" for those cat scans, and held me why I cried from the pain of the chemo, and changed my "sh*t bag" because I could barely stand...If that ain't love, what is? He also took care of my mama while I was too sick to. Does he sound like the perfect spouse? Try mentioning Iowa and check out his reaction......
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